Growing up, I was never aware of my Aunt’s mental illness until I was older and took a psychology class and discovered that she had signs and symptoms of the illness. She suffered from bi-polar disorder, but many of my family members tried to keep this hidden from most people. I always felt like they were ashamed of her mental illness and really never came to terms with it. I don’t even think my aunt fully understood her mental illness either, and took the pills because she was told to rather than understanding she had a serious problem. My grandparents come from a generation that mental illness was not really acceptable and understood, so this is probably why they were not as tolerant of my Aunt.
I think my family’s response to the mental illness caused my aunt more harm than the actual illness itself. I also feel that my Aunt’s failed marriage caused a lot of depression on top of the bi-polar disorder which may have been the cause for her spiraling out of control of her own life. I do not think the mental illness caused the failure of her marriage however because she did not seem to have signs of a mental illness until her marriage failed and she had to file for divorce. My families response to her starting to show signs of a mental illness was to put her away in a house where she could live by herself and support her so she didn’t have to work. I think removing her from society and giving her financial support removed her last ties to a healthy lifestyle and let her indulge in her grief about her marriage.
My Aunt shows signs of being bi-polar by being happy one minute and then suddenly crying or saying terrible things the next. When not on her medication, she likes to talk to me like I am a five year old little girl. I do feel bad because she did want a husband and children and she sees me as her own child she never had since I am her niece. Most people feel uncomfortable around her when she is not on her medication, but when she does take it it would be very hard to know that she suffered from a mental illness.
I have learned from growing up with my Aunt having a mental illness that most people do not like to talk about mental illnesses, especially if it is their children that have it. They would much rather make other excuses up about why they act the way they do than tell the truth.
Laura,
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a lot of great points in your post. I agree that people would rather hide mental illnesses behind excuses because it is easier for "them" to cope with. My aunt has done that for years with her oldest son and we just found out that he was declared mentally disabled when he was in his early teens and now he's in his mid-thirties. I know the only reason she is telling the family about this now is because he's been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic (in addition to being bi-polar and PTSD) and she's afraid of him. I agree with you about how your family handled your aunt's illnesses and I wonder how your aunt is doing now. Is she still isolated and grieving?